http://www.laconiadailysun.com/opinion/letters/80064-james-veverka-5-31-940
To the Editor,
Hello everybody! Summer has been awesome, eh? Welcome to another edition of Tea Party Potty Tricks brought to you by the Center for the Study of Absurdity. Our think-tank, now celebrating a year of bringing you the best in dismembered minds, takes great pride in serving you the Filet Mignon of those who don't. First on our list is our freshest Lord of the Flies winner, 35 year police veteran Dan Page. Our Super Psychopath of the week has been suspended and ordered into counseling but not for shoving CNN's Don Lemon while playing Jackboots at the Ferguson, Missouri protests. An hour long rant in front of The Oathkeepers has come to the attention of his superiors. The Oathkeepers are the far right of the lunatic fringe so you can imagine how much we here at the Center appreciate that kind of derangement. Saint Louis Chief Berman said he "can not endure" Mr Page and would have fired him if it were not for established procedure. Right on, Chief. In the video, Mr Page gives us some insight into the mind of the far right because he is, after all, preaching to a much bigger choir than most realize. Homeland Security wasn't kidding about right wing terrorists. Page states, "I personally believe the Lord Jesus Christ is my savior, but I'm also a killer. I've killed a lot and, if I need to, I will kill a whole bunch more. If you don't want to get killed, don't show up in front of me." On Muslims, he said, "they will kill you". On the Supreme Court, there are the "four sodomites". On domestic disputes, "just kill each other and get it over with". On Muslims and gays, “I’m into diversity – I kill everybody," Page is sure that "Caucasian Christians" will be arrested and sent to re-education camps. Sounds excellent to us! Did you know that Ferguson courts issued 33,000 non-violent arrest warrants in 2013? Ferguson has a population of 21,000! Evidently, friends don't let friends drive black in Ferguson and other like places. Houston, we have a serious trajectory problem. Watch Page's diatribe athttp://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/aug/23/ferguson-officer-relieved-duty-video-racist-remarks
Its midterm election time! This is the time when people are elected in 35% turnouts. Its when the American people don't speak up, Are you voting for a Republican? If you are, you have friends! In a leaked tape, Senator Mitch McConnell recently said in a meeting of corporatist donors, "I want to start by thanking you, Charles and David for the important work you’re doing. I don’t know where we’d be without you, and um, and I want (inaudible) for rallying, uh, to the cause." No Dorothy, America is not a democracy. Vote Koch Brothers!~
Endtimes Newsman Rick Wiles is out in Ebola la-la-land again. Recently he spoke of how Ebola could be a good thing because it "could solve America’s problems with atheism, homosexuality, sexual promiscuity, pornography and abortion" but now Pastor Rick may have had a new revelation. Ebola could give Obama an excuse to put Americans in FEMA camps and arrest Christians! Mr Wiles warned, "We may find ourselves one day being told by soldiers, 'You can’t go to church'". Take your meds, Rick! And Pat Robertson seems to be a little excited about ISIS. Yup, it seems an ISIS takeover of Iraq and Syria could help bring the end of the world upon us because it supposedly fits someone's Biblical prophecy. And I saw Saint Christopher on a piece of toast yesterday. By the way, news has just broken that ISIS is using water-boarding on its prisoners. Don't worry, its not torture I have heard from Dick Cheney.
Meanwhile back at the Bundy Ranch, one of his spawn has taken all five of his kids out of the public school system because there is a ban on carrying pocket knives on the school campuses. But a knife wielding society is a polite society, right? Heck, give all the kids Uzis for their safety! Tots and Toys and Uzis. Intramural Automatics! The 15 year old daughter who is entering her freshman year wants this to be resolved because she claims she "really doesn't want to be home-schooled". We're with you, girl, we're with you! Escape is good.
A while back we saw a satire article about how Oklahoma opted out of building school shelters because it interferes with God's plan. Now for reality. In a press conference recently, officials from the Alabama Public Service Commission and the Republican National Committee argued against EPA coal plant regulations by claiming that "coal was created in Alabama by God, and the federal government should not enact policy that runs counter to God's plan." Biblical Economics is not a college course - yet, but the State of Kentucky is investing $73 Million in Ken Ham's Noah's Ark Museum. Clearly on the TONY BOUTIN Education Plan For A Dumb America, Kentucky ranks 47th in residents with bachelor's degrees. For those who want to know why Republican Oklahoma didn't appropriate money for school shelters, they chose tax cuts for businesses instead.
In local yokel tomfoolery, it seems that Steve Earle has become what he always wanted to be when he was a little boy; a race hustler like Bill O'Reilly of GOP TV. Mr Earle claims that President Obama was elected because he is black. It must have been that 'black privilege' thing, eh? We don't know about you folks but we here at the Center love our healthcare and having our soldiers brought back from Iraq. What better way to finish off this edition than with America's Bloviator-in-Chief, Rush Limbaugh? Rush blames Obama for George Bush's Great Recession and his audience will believe it!
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