http://www.laconiadailysun.com/opinion/letters/82622-james-veverka-12-9-810
To the Editor,
Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Fabulous Festivus and a Super Satanic Solstice to all of you! And to all of you who watch every Die-Hard on Christmas day! Welcome to another edition of Tea Party Potty Tricks. Well, we have some catching up to do, don't we? We here at the Center for the Study of Absurdity are proud to announce the winners of the 2014 Nobel Prize in Lakes Region Tomfoolery. It goes to the Sun's very own Conservative Clown Car; Don Ewing, Steve Earle, Bob Mead, Russ Wiles, and John Demakowski. This prize is awarded to those who present hyperbole, distortion, fanaticism, paranoia, tall tales and the zaniest fandango possible at the highest levels. Benghazi! Jesus! Benghazi! Jesus!
But lets get down to those wonderful people that love the Baby Jesus and of course, the infinite love they have for everyone else! Stephen Anderson, pastor of Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, Arizona is on a roll. He recently declared that we could have an AIDS-free New Years if only we just kill all the gays. "It was right there in the Bible all along" he said! But Pastor Stan Solomon doesn't like second fiddle so in an interview with Phylis Schafly he stated, “Michael Brown was shot because he’s a thug. I’m glad he’s dead. He deserves to be dead. He was a thug." He also warned that "Liberal Government is going to take our children and give them to the homosexuals".
In law and disorder, Former police chief Donald Solomon was sentenced to 11 years in prison for corruption a while back. But Solomon has found God so he insists he should be let out. Isn't that special! In an FBI sting in which he thought the agents were drug dealers, he quipped, "I'm the best cop money can buy."
Empty headed GOP staffer Elizabeth Lauten is out of a job. It seems everyone but the tea party Cuckoo's Nest was aghast at her attack on the First Daughters. When the nation slapped her, she prayed and prayed for guidance. Nobody was at the office so she got FIRED! Another Classy conservative Lady of distinguished merit! In more matters of justice, a Tennessee police officer was recently caught on tape choking a white college student unconscious and was fired immediately. However, NYPD Officer Daniel Pantaleo who choked Eric Garner to death and is currently on paid leave. The coroner ruled it a homicide but he is on paid vacation! Justice, white guy style! Hey, Darren Wilson made a million dollars killing Michael Brown! Not kidding!
In serial government lunacy, the latest from the Hill is that the House Tea-Billies and Slingbladers want the State of the Union speech cancelled. It must be that love thy neighbor and forgiveness stuff the Baby Jesus taught.. As you know, the deep south is in the middle ages when it comes to equality and justice. They never disappoint with their level of intellectual ferocity. The Kennesaw City Council voted 4-1 to deny the Suffa Dawat congregation a permit for a storefront worship space BUT the Pentecostal Redeemed Christian Fellowship Church got approved their storefront space under the same traffic circumstances. Well, that's the Christian Sharia for you. And what about that foreign language stuff from the Pentecostals? Speak English! This is Murica! Kennesaw is Freedom, equality and the Baby Jesus' love just shining forth from a city on a dunghill!
In Texas they don't even have good teachers to complement their medieval quality textbooks. There, we can find Obama Derangement Syndrome as a mental illness owned with pride! Angela Box, a third-grade teacher in west Houston has stirred up the nest when the cesspool cesspool inside her skull leaked, joking, "Can't Ebola just take one for the team and take out Obama?". Furthermore, witnessing the Baby Jesus' love, she quipped "Every normal human being in the world knows that"...having sex with goats and boys is a bacon-hating Muslim thing. I can't repeat her exact words. You can be sure she loves the Baby Jesus, who obviously didn't listen to her prayers either because she was fired immediately! From the ammosexual world, Fresno Firearms was robbed by masked gunman minutes after it opened. See? Its those damn gun-free zones! Star Pitcher Curt Shilling is a world class athlete but he, like John Demakowski, couldnt pass a 6th grade science test. Recently he tweeted, "if humans evolved from Monkeys, why are there still Monkeys?" Creationists think that is an intelligent question which brings into question the claimant's intelligence. Speaking of 6th garders, watch this 6th grader train wreck a creationist at http://deadstate.org/watch-the-incredible-moment-when-a-creationist-got-outwitted-by-a-sixth-grader/
Poor pitiful Glen Beck is upset - again. The Beck man claims that the Satanic Display at the Florida State Capital's Holiday display is a sign of the coming destruction. AGAIN! Are you camped out on your roof, yet?
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